Hogwarts rejection letters
by Midnighter 13
Summary: We all know the story of Harry accepting his Hogwarts letter. What if instead he wrote a letter indicating he did not wish to attend? And what universes could such a letter come from? Acepting letters on my forum!
1. Chapter 1

Dear Professor McGonagall,

It is with no hesitation what so ever that I hereby inform you I will not be attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I have no intention of giving up my normal education in the real world to waste seven years of my life learning how to make eggs do cartwheels. I hope to never come in contact with your world again, and would appreciate it if you would inform your press of my decision to that effect.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I am afraid that your offer of enrollment in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry has come a bit late. I am already enrolled in Beauxbatons Academy of Magic, and I see no reason to change. I am grateful that my attendance is not mandatory, as Hogwarts' education seems to be becoming progressively worse as the years go on. That is not the same at Beauxbatons. I hope to see Hogwarts after I graduate, but for now, I am afraid I must decline.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I shall not be attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry this year, or indeed any year, until the Dark Lord currently running the school is either dead, or in prison. This is not a hard decision at all, as I would prefer to live through my education without being involved in life threatening events every other month. Kindly inform the dark lord in question that my decision is final and I am immune to compulsions such as the Imperious curse. I hope one day that I might see Hogwarts, but I will not step foot in the place while a Dark Lord intent on my death runs it.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter


	4. Chapter 4

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I am sending this letter through normal postal channels, as I have no idea how to send a letter using a nonexistent bird of prey. I have no intention of giving up the normal world, simply to go to a magic school and act famous. I have a good life here, and I have no reason to throw that away for nothing. Having read the history books I got from Diagon Ally, I am forced to conclude that your magic either drives you insane, or your entire population is suffering from neural defects due to inbreeding. I have no reason to become a part of an insane world, and many reasons to avoid it like the black plague.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter


	5. Chapter 5

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I regret to inform you that I will not be attending Hogwarts this year, or indeed any year. The magical world left me to die at the hands of crazy muggles, so I feel it is poetic justice that The Boy-Who-Lived will be leaving the wizarding world to die at the hands of crazy wizards. Please do not bother seeking me, as you will be unable to find me. I am behind wards more powerful than any you or your headmaster can construct.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter


	6. Chapter 6

Professor McGonagall,

I have no interest in Hogwarts, kindly leave me alone, and do not seek to contact me again.

Harry Potter


	7. Chapter 7

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I don't give a damn if your school _accepts_ me or not. As far as I'm concerned you and you kind can all go to hell. I am not a wizard, and even if I was I would never wish to learn an _abomination_ such as magic. I am a faithful catholic, and I will never give up my faith to study the arts of Satan.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter.

(AN)

I apologize for the obvious religious overtures in this letter, I am not Catholic, nor am I British, however I wanted to use something both common in the world, and uncommon where I am, so I chose Catholicism. I am in no way biased against Catholics, nor did I select Catholicism for any sinister purpose.


	8. Chapter 8

Dear Professor McGonagall,

It is with great regret that I must inform you that I am unable to attend Hogwarts this year. I have recently been maimed by my relatives, and have lost both of my legs. I will not put myself into any magical school until I have recovered enough to use a wheelchair. Hopefully I will be able to attend next year that is if my relatives don't kill me in the intervening time.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter.

.


	9. Chapter 9

McGonagall,

I have no time for pranks, if this supposed to be believable, send it through ordinary channels. Until then, up yours!

Harry Potter.

.


	10. Chapter 10

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I will not be attending Hogwarts, as it is controlled by the Light, and teaches far to weak magic. I will be attending Durmstrang Institute of Magic in Germany this September as they teach powerful magic, and will not punish me for defending myself against the muggle animals I live with, unlike you. If you attempt to force me to go to Hogwarts you will not like the consequences. It could very easily lead to a magical war between Germany and Britain. I hope that the muggle born witches and wizards of Britain will soon wise up, and come to Durmstrang for a real education, instead of the idiotic lectures by incompetent teachers that Hogwarts is so famous for.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter.

.


	11. Chapter 11

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I regret to inform you that I am currently far beyond any curriculum you and Hogwarts are capable of giving me. I already possess magical masteries in warding, potions, and defensive magic, having attended Watanabe in Kyoto Japan since the age of seven. The time compression wards of my school have allowed me to learn far more, far faster here than anything you could teach in Britain.

I will not be going to Hogwarts this September, in fact I have already withdrawn my money from the British wizarding bank of Gringotts and I have moved all of my money, possessions, and property out of Britain. I have no intention of returning to the shores of imperialist Europe.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter.

(AN)

Huge shout out to **Radaslab** and his story _30 Minutes That Changed Everything_. It inspired this letter, as the school referred to is an original school created by the author (as far as I know) I make no claim to the Watanabe school, or the ideas produced by **Radaslab **in reference to it.

That said, I encourage all of you to read his story, as it is extremely good and has already been completed. Regrettably it appears the sequel is currently abandoned, never the less the first book is excellent.


	12. Chapter 12

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I have no use for a magical degree of any type; I am already working towards my PhD in molecular chemistry and have no reason to abandon my degree to go to a school that teaches well below my capability, and gives me no useful references or skills for use in my chosen profession.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter.

.


	13. Chapter 13

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I am currently far to busy to attend you magic school, I am training for the year 2008 Olympics in multiple swimming events. I will be unable to attend your school as it is a boarding school without the facilities I need to train. If you wish to contact me after the 2008 Olympics, I will likely still be in China, under the alias of Michel Phelps.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter.

.

(AN)

Shout out to Nanchih who gave me the idea for this letter, and gave a few other suggestions that I might incorporate later.

If anyone wants to see a specific letter, post your scenario in a review, and I might just use it.


	14. Chapter 14

My Dear Professor McGonagall,

Forsooth, I be'ith unable to join thee in learning thine art of magic, for I be'th a great king of Narnia, and thy offer would'st take me from my people. I thank thee for the offer made, but I be unable to except.

By the Lion's grace,

King Harry Potter of Narnia


	15. Chapter 15

McGonagall,

I got no interest in any school. I left school when I was 5, no reason to go back. I got a family now, and I ain't giving up my gang to go to no stupid school.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter


	16. Chapter 16

Dear Professor McGonagall,

As a solider of Gondor, I am unable to go to a school of magic. Never fear, I shall apprentice my self to Mithmander when this war against the dark lord Suron in concluded. I do not have time to leave my world, and my country to go to a school for children. I am a warrior of the white tree, and your offer of training now, on the brink of war, instead of when I was a child in peacetime, is rather suspicious to me.

I wonder McGonagall, weather your offer of training is simply an attempt to weaken my country one solider at a time. If so, you are wasting your time. If not, then your timing could not possibly have been worse, and I will get my training from a real wizard when the war is over.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter


	17. Chapter 17

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I wonder why you and your kind are permitted to exist within this version of the Matrix. You are neither a great source of power, nor are you of any use to the machines.

I am sorry to have to tell you this, but the world you live in does not exist. I am a citizen of Zion, and believe me; I know full well what I am, and that there is no such thing as magic.

If "wizards" actually existed outside of the Matrix, I am sure that we would have already freed quite a few. I will be unable to attend your "school" as I will only be able to hack in safely every few months.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter


	18. Chapter 18

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I already attend a school for users of "magic" although only primitive cultures such as you would call the Force that. I am currently training to become a Jedi on Corusant. I will not be attending your school, nor do I know when your "September" is, assuming that it is a date. I do have one question, how is it that you managed to get this letter to teleport itself to my room? That is something no Jedi has ever managed to do, and it would be very useful for the Jedi order to have an instant, totally secure way of communication. Please respond if you are able

Sincerely,

Padawan Harry Potter


	19. Chapter 19

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I have already been apprenticed to Eragon Kingslayer, and as he is the greatest sorcerer in these lands, I feel no need to leave my home and attend your school. I thank you for your offer however.

Sincerely,

Harry James son.


	20. Chapter 20

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I am interested in your school, but I'm afraid you got my address wrong, I haven't lived in the cupboard under the stairs for years. I currently reside in the London Mental hospital for the criminally insane. If you wish for me to attend Hogwarts, I am afraid you will have to break me out of prison first. If you do that, I will gladly attend your school, just don't be surprised if a few students go "missing" after I arrive there.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter


	21. Chapter 21

McGonagallgallagall,

I not able to go school brethrann court seiged by British fleet come rescue, then accepted to this school. Lovoe to protection piracy, so, can't stop fighting for fredom.

XxX


	22. Chapter 22

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I am an actor, and currently far to busy producing movies to attend a boarding school. When I have completed the eighth movie in the series, I will consider attending your school, however, by that time I will be eighteen, as that is the age I must be to complete the movie HPDH. I am currently working on HPPS, and will be working on HPCS next year.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter aka Daniel Radcliffe


	23. Chapter 23

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I am currently unavailable to your school, as it resides in a different galaxy from my home. I am already attending the Atlantis Academy for Terran colonists, and I am more than happy with my home now that the Wraith have been defeated. I will visit your school during the next dial out.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter.


	24. Chapter 24

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I already have a "school" at Discipline Cottage. My teacher Rosethorn is more than competent, and I wouldn't leave here even if I could. Here I have a good foster family, nice clothing, a warm bed, and plenty of food. Better yet, I am learning magic that I enjoy, and really don't want to go around the world just to learn some kind of barbarian magic.

Sincerely,

Briar Moss


	25. Chapter 25

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I am unable to go to your school because I am currently on the other side of the galaxy battling Thread with my dragon Smar'larth. With no interstellar ships available, and with too few dragon riders as is, I will not be able to attend any school, or go to any other planet. Pern is my home now, and at the moment it is a rather harsh one.

_If_ I am able to teach Smar'larth how to go Between all the way to Earth, then I _might_ attend your school after this Pass is over. According to our astronomers, that will be in about forty more years. So at the moment I must respectfully decline your offer of attendance at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Sincerely,

Ha'y Smar'larth's Rider


	26. Chapter 26

Dear Professor McGonagall,

As I have been reliably been informed that Hogwarts does not accept people classified as creatures by your Ministry of Magic. As such, being a vampire resident of New Mayhem I am ineligible to attend your school. To be frank, even if I was eligible I doubt I would attend as your school as there are far too many close-minded bigots in your hidden world. I vastly prefer my hidden world of Nyeusigrube.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter Aubrey's fledgling


	27. Chapter 27

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I am unwilling to become a member of such a bigoted, close-minded, and inbred society. If at some point you people are able to catch up with the nineteenth century let alone the twentieth, then I might consider becoming a member of your society. Until then, I will stay in the civilized world.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter


	28. Chapter 28

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I truly regret to inform you that I am unable to attend Hogwarts. If you are reading this message then I am afraid I am dead. I left instructions for this letter to be delivered to you on this date unless I counteracted the order. Since I have not, then I must have been the victim of one of my uncles many drunken rages.

Please tell the Headmaster of your school that I blame him for placing me here, ignoring all attempts to contact him, and his continual use of oblivation and compulsion charms to keep me here.

Please see to it that this letter finds its way to the media in it's entirety, as I would like Albus Dumbledore, the man who plotted my death to be brought to justice.

Sincerely,

The former Harry Potter


	29. Chapter 29

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I will not be attending Hogwarts this year. I am currently working on breaking the Kush language, and I have no time to learn magic. When I am finished with my current project I intend to learn additional languages and continue my archeological career.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter, Linguistic Expert and Archeological Consultant

(A/N)

This letter was written from the point of view of Harry in my Runes of Atlantis story. I encourage you all to read it and review.


	30. Chapter 30

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I am a currently a member of the Empress's Mercy. I have no intention of leaving my homeland of Anhmik. Should you wish to contact me, please do so in person in the future instead of abusing flying creatures. Fail to do so, and you may well bring the anger of the falcons down on your head.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter, Guardian of the Empress

(A/N)

For everyone who has been asking for reactions, I have posted a new story containing reactions, you can find it on my profile.


	31. Chapter 31

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I am unable to visit your school on Second Earth as I am currently engaged with Saint Dane on the Territory of Velox.

I have been experiencing magic for some time now, and while your offer of training is welcome, I cannot justify removing myself from the war to train for a conflict that is already in motion.

Harry Potter, Lead Traveler

(A/N)

I do apologize, I had posted my reactions, however faced with more negative reviews than positive ones (a first for me) I decided to take them down. At some point I may try and rewrite my reactions, but for now I will not be focusing on them.


	32. Chapter 32

Dear Professor McGonagall,

While I am interested in your offer of training, I am afraid I can not accept at this time. I and the rest of the Midnighters are preparing to fight off the Darkling invasion of Bixby in a little over a month, and I cannot justify leaving now of all times, thank you for the offer however. Should we survive the upcoming battle, I will consider going to your school.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter


	33. Chapter 33

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I have no use for your weak school. I am a demiSayain. I am being trained by Piccolo, Goku, Prince Vegeta, and the rest of the Z gang to battle Cell. While it is obvious that he has not absorbed you or your community, he will destroy the planet if we do not defeat him in the tournament.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter

P. S. Besides, why would I want to learn your type of magic when you did nothing to bring my parents back to life? The Nameks have brought back both my mother and father back to life three years ago!

AN

Shout out to dysall75 who wrote this letter and posted it on my forum (I did edit it a bit, but he deserves credit)


	34. Chapter 34

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I do not intend to attend Hogwarts, I have heard from others who have attended that you offer only magical classes, and this is unacceptable to me. I will be hiring tutors to train me in magic, but also in Math, English, Latin, History, and various disciplines of Science. As Hogwarts does not offer these classes, the school is not an educational establishment I can confine myself to.

Sincerely,

Lord Harry James Potter.


	35. Chapter 35

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I'm sorry, but I cannot attend your school at this point in time. Professor Andora needs my help in the ongoing efforts to prevent the impending awakening of the Old Ones. When the current crisis has been averted, I'd be happy to reconsider, should the offer still be open. If the crisis cannot be averted, it matters not.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,

Harry James Potter, Scholarship Student at Arkham University

(A/N)

Shout out to Lord Sia who wrote this letter.


	36. Chapter 36

*When the letter is opened, a small holographic image of an 11 year old Harry Potter appears, dressed in street clothes, and starts speaking:*

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I've already graduated from a magic school, and am working on my post-graduate task. While your school is supposed to be the best, I cannot leave my little brother alone in Japan with a bunch of older girls who are interested in seeing him naked, and I have a Master who is teaching magic and would be displeased that I left after all the effort my brother and I went through to get her to teach us, and she would take it out on Negi. Also, I don't want to know what would happen to me when Asuna and Konoka found out that I was leaving the school...

Sincerely, Harry Potter-Springfield, Magister Magi in training.

*The imagine dissipates as the letter ends.*

(A/N)

Shout out to runewizarddd who wrote this letter from the Mahou Sensei Negima/Negima! Magister Magi Negi universe


	37. Chapter 37

Professor McGonagall:

I regret to inform you that I will not be attending your school. You may  
contact me when your Dark Lord becomes corporeal so I may dispatch him. I  
will accept no less than fifty thousand Galactic credits in compensation.

Sincerely,

Har'ry Fett, Bounty Hunter

(A/N)

Shout out to Celebwen Telcontar who wrote this letter.


	38. Chapter 38

Professor McGonagall:

Sorry! I can't join your school; I have a few missions coming up with Uzumaki  
Sensei! Thanks for the offer!

Pottero Hari, Gennin of the Villiage Hidden in the Leaves  
Sincerely,

(A/N)

Shout out to Celebwen Telcontar who wrote this letter.


	39. Chapter 39

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I'm sorry, but I can not attend your school. I am currently learning under my  
master, Grandmaster of the Jedi council, Master Yoda, who tells me that the so  
called magic of your planet is just another name for the Force. He is very  
wise since he is about 500 years old right now, and I have a feeling that  
he will live for a few hundred years more. Plus, it would take me about a year  
to get to your planet from where I am at currently, which brings me to another  
question. How did you send this very old\ancient style of letter to me? From  
what I am told, your planet does not have the technology to do this.

Sincerely,

Padawan Harry Potter

(A/N)

Shout out to jedielfsorcerer who wrote this letter. Anyone who wishes to write a letter and have it posted, please post the latter on my forum.


	40. Chapter 40

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I was unaware there was a school for 'magic' so I won't be attending. This is  
because of an unfortunate visit by a vengeance demon named Anya, which resulted  
in me being sent to 1778, a vampire named Darla, and a gypsy curse. Anyway I'm  
currently helping the slayer fight the forces of evil near the Sunnydale  
Hellmouth so I don't have time for schooling. Besides, I'm over 200 years old.

Sincerely,

Harry 'Angel' Potter

(A/N)

Shout out to gecoma who wrote this letter. Any one with a good idea, feel free to post it on my forum.

Also check out _Sweet Kagamine Kiss_ they have written a story similar to this one.


	41. Chapter 41

Dear professor McGonagall,

I don't know how you found me but the warp and the Emperor's will both work in mysterious ways, I am afraid I will have to decline your generous offer to learn about your "magic" through I am in the difficult position of having to inform you now that which you refer as "magic" is nothing more than the warp and all of your peers are simply psykers and all of you are in constant danger of demonic possession. Although this leaves me with questions rather than answers I know for a fact that all psykers in holly tera or earth as you would call it are sanctioned and monitored so that leaves me with only one possible answer you somehow called me from the past but by the emperor I have seen weirder things from the warp that is for sure and perhaps that is for the best as by being in the past I don't have to purge you by taking precious time against my fight of chaos the xenos and the heretics. I leave you now with a wish that you and your peers will have a life blessed by the emperor and free of chaos influence.

Grey Knight battle brother Potter.

AN

Shout out to nartog who wrote this letter.


	42. Chapter 42

Dear McGonagall

I will not attend your school. I shall not go into details, but I'm currently  
in hiding from several sources, and it would beat the purpose and all the  
sweat, blood and tears (literally) I've put in staying undetected. I apologize  
for the lateness of this letter, but your owl put me in an undesirable  
position. Next time I shall flay and grill the stupid bird. So do not contact  
me, do not look for me and for all that is sacred, do not ask questions.  
Questions make people attentive, and that's the last thing I need after that  
silly owl stunt of yours.

Harry Potter

(A/N)

Shout out to The Auric Healer who wrote this letter.


	43. Chapter 43

To da ofessor McOnagall

I dan't come ta your weird Boyz school cause I got ta lead me boyz on me Waaagh! Against the imp umies

Rom

Warboss Arry Otter

PS me pet Squiggly ate your owl orry about dat

A/N

Shout out to miner249er who wrote this letter


	44. Chapter 44

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I regret to inform you that I will not be attending your "Hogwarts" as I am  
already attending Unseen University (which, by the way, resents your claim to  
being the finest magical school in the world).

If you need to contact me again, please direct your letter to Unseen  
University Dormitory, second floor, room 7A, as I do not spend much time at 4  
Treacle Mine Road these days.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I just heard an explosion from the direction of the  
High Energy Magic Building and should probably go find out if this will affect  
my schedule.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter, Wizard-in Training

(AN)

Shout out to MutantRancor who wrote this letter.


	45. Chapter 45

Dear Professor McGonagall,

When I was separated from my twin, the "Boy-Who-Lived" at birth, I was deposited into the care of my muggle Aunt and Uncle, who promptly dropped me off at an orphanage. Since then, I have been adopted as a ward of Astarte Academy, which I have attended since the age of four. Doubtless, the school produces students on a far higher caliber than those Hogwarts produces. Were you aware that the founders of you school attended Astarte originally? I have no desire to attend a school that is a mere branch off of my own. Also, due to the fact that I have been blood adopted by the Diamonte family, I feel no obligation to meet with, and/or reconcile with the people who gave me up at birth.

Sincerely,

Harrison Raphael Diamonte


	46. Chapter 46

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I regret to inform you that I have already graduated from Hogwarts. As one of  
the current companions of The Doctor (along with Amy and Rory Pond), he took  
me back to when the founders were teaching, and I got a more expansive  
education than what is currently offered in Hogwarts in your present time.  
Besides, why learn history from a boring ghost, when you can live and be  
history while traveling with a Time Lord?

Sincerely,

Harrison Ford James Potter (Yes, I talked my mother into that.)

(AN)

Credit for this letter goes to Maloran who wrote this letter.


	47. Chapter 47

Professor McGonagall,

I write to inform you that I will be unable to attend Hogwarts School of  
Witchcraft and Wizardry, due to the fact that I am currently apprenticed to a  
wizard outside of the natural time stream. You may have heard of him, he goes  
by the name of 'Merlin'.

Sincerely,

Harry James Pendragon

(AN)

Credit for this letter goes to Yukirin-Sama.


	48. Chapter 48

Dear Professor McGonagall,

As a teacher at Xavier's School for the Gifted Young, I do not have time to go to another school as a student. If you wish, I can allow a few of your students to audit our curriculum if you will do the same, but I'm afraid full integration is unlikely at this time.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter, of the X-Men

(A/N)

For everyone who has requested a list of crossovers you can find the list on my forum under the _Hogwarts Rejection Letters_ thread.


	49. Chapter 49

Professor McGonagall,

I apologize for the lateness of this response, but I have neither the time nor the inclination to travel halfway around the world to attend your school.

It turns out that before my father married my mother, he - when engaged in his post-Hogwarts travels before he was hired by Her Majesty's Ministry of Magic - ended up in quite intimate relations with a delightful woman named Jalynda Hirosaki, which ended up giving me a sister, Chikage. It was Chikage's mother and maternal grandfather who rescued me from the Dursleys and had me relocated to live with them in Japan, thus giving me a much more proper upbringing than I would have received in England.

Furthermore, I have been enrolled in the Dejima School of Wizardry and Witchcraft in Nagasaki along with my sister, so I will be learning magic there. And I don't have to worry about backwards laws like your so-called "Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery." To say anything of your society's abhorrent treatment of all those not of so-called "pure blood".

That really strikes me as odd given that the so-called "Dark Lord" I supposedly defeated was a HALF-blood.

And finally, Chikage wishes NOT to be parted from her "Ani-kun." Believe me, making my sister upset is much more threatening to me than any gathering of stalebloods like what Voldemort had working under him.

Please do not write again.

Harry Potter-Hirosaki

P.S. A copy of this letter has also been sent to the publications "Daily Prophet" and "Quibbler" to ensure all of your people learn the truth about the man whose battle-name you all are so afraid of saying out loud.

(AN)

Credit for this letter goes to Pyeknu who wrote this letter in the Sister Princess - Onii-chan Daisuki universe.


	50. Chapter 50

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I appreciate the fact that Hogwarts is interested in having me as a student  
but I must decline. I was adopted by the Navajo Nation and I am studying to be  
a Medicine Man and I am also being taught the Navajo language by the Tribal  
Elders. I enjoy what I am learning and I do not have to live in fear of being  
killed by some magical version of Adolf Hitler. Please do not contact me  
again.

Sincerely,

Harold James "White Bear" Potter

New Mexico, U.S.A.


	51. Chapter 51

Dear Professor McGonagall,

When I saw the letter at the gates, and I saw what it was for, I felt that I  
had to reply. I am a squib, and thus I had prior knowledge of Hogwarts.

Four years ago, a seven year old child was interred here. No one has ever  
visited him in the four long years he has been with us. This boy's name was  
Harry Potter.

Also four years ago, a married couple, Petunia and Vernon Dursley were  
arrested for child abuse. They both received life sentences in separate  
prisons, which they are still serving to this day. Their only son, Dudley, was  
placed with his aunt Marge. Mr. Potter's case was one of the most famous of  
its kind in the muggle world- I am surprised you haven't heard of it.

Mr. Potter is in better hands now. I am sorry to say that he will never have  
the chance to attend Hogwarts.

Sincerely,

Stanley Abbott

Oak Ridge Cemetery

(AN)

This letter was written by Yukirin-Sama.


	52. Chapter 52

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I'm Sorry but I'm unable to attend your school because I'm already doing  
something better, unfortunately I can't say what I'm

doing due to confidentiality agreement clauses.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter.

(AN)

Shout out to skyefire who wrote this letter.

If people don't mind, please post your letters on my forum instead of leaving them in reviews. It makes it easier to reformat them, and is frankly less stressful for me. Also, remember to state what fandom you are writing in so I can let the other readers know.

You can find a link to my forum on my fanfiction profile; just post them on the _Hogwarts Rejection Letters_ thread. Thank you.


	53. Chapter 53

Dear Professor McGonagall,

Sorry, I can't attend you're weird school, you guys are about 7 years too late, I don't live in England anymore, I was adopted by a man named Frank Taylor in America, and right now I just got out of the Advent Void, don't ask, anyways, I'm in the middle of a war with someone worse than Old Snake-Face (No offence to my new friend Price) while training with Master Eubulon and the other Riders (Even my Ventaren Twin Adam the old/new Dragon Knight), also, don't send another owl or I'll feed him to Dragblacker, my Advent Beast.

Harry Potter.

(AN)

This letter was written by Shadow the Hedgehog 12.


	54. Chapter 54

To Whom it may concern,

The letter we received recently was addressed to someone who no longer lives here.

Regards,

Simon Smith


	55. Chapter 55

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I am sorry that I am unable to come to Hogwarts at this time due to the fact that my DeLorean has a broken Flux capacitor. As soon as the Doc can get it fixed I will see if I am able to get to your school but he says that the parts will not be able to be made till the mid twentieth century and currently we are stuck in the 1500's.

Harry J. Potter

(AN)

Written by hemotem


	56. Chapter 56

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I have no idea how you sent a letter through a Mass Relay to get this to me,  
but I cannot attend your school at this time. The threat of the Collector, and  
ultimately the Reapers, is a much more pressing concern and I don't think  
Commander Shepard would be happy if his resident Anti-Biotics Specialist  
suddenly left because he wanted to go to school. If I survive going through  
the Omega 4 Relay I shall make a request to Shepard to stop by Earth.

Yours truly,

Harry Potter, Anti-Biotics specialist aboard the Normandy SR2.

(AN)

Credit for this letter goes to slicerness.


	57. Chapter 57

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I would love to come to Hogwarts, but I am currently in the middle of, what is this, my 170th?... Yeah, 170th kidnapping attempt. As the adopted younger brother to Seto Kaiba, this has happened so much that I'm being kidnapped by the grandmothers of some of my previous kidnappers, probably because they think it will be the only way they'll get great-grandkids. Heck, Seto set it up that if I get kidnapped 500 times before I go to college, the kidnapper and I can have an all-expenses paid dinner at Red Lobster! Talk about your brotherly love.

Sincerely,

Mokuba Kaiba, previously known as Harry Potter

(AN)

Written by Maloran.


	58. Chapter 58

(AN) This is a collection of letters written by Harosata, with the universe posted underneath. I chose to post them in one chapter as opposed to a number of chapters due to the large number of letters written by him.

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I would love to, but there's always some Dark Lord that tries to blow up the whole world. Unless you can train me and get me to their lairs in 30 seconds, I'll stick with my wits.

Sincerely,

Harry Pot…-_-'

_(Half Minute Hero)_

Dear Missus McGonagall,

If I am really a mage, then I would already be a student of the Tristain Academy of Magic. Thanks to you, though, the Headmaster (of my master) tested me and made me a student. I'm going to have to refuse your offer, still. The Familiar Summoning is next spring and I really want to get a dragon. Do you even have that ritual?

Sincerely

Harry Potter, Familiar of Louise Valliere and Chevalier

_(Familiar of Zero)_

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I'm already attending Yokai Academy. Even though wizards and witches are bullied for being so similar to humans, I heard much about your academy's treatment of its own students and feel that my chances are better here. Besides, Tsukune won't survive without me.

Harry Potter

P.S. I wasn't joking about Tsukune. Now I have to save him from the swimming club.

_(Rosario + Vampire)_

Hey Professor McGonagall,

Ah, yes, this is indeed Harry Potter. Yes, definitely Harry Potter and not his devilishly handsome professor, who is much more awesome than your professor. I'll gladly transfer from Macademi Wasshoi. Just remember, I, Harry Potter, will be the big buff angel coming to your school, not the skinny kid with glasses and a scar. And if the big buff angel wants to spread his love and peace, run very, very far. Or nibble on his ears. That's very effective

Love and Kisses,

The authentic Harry Potter, who is not his professor and is definitely not writing this very convincing letter to dump the angel while the real I mean fake Harry Potter distracts the professor's catgirl maid familiar.

_(Macademi Wasshoi)_

Dear Professor McGonagall,

Let me get this straight. You are a magical school teaching magic for humans? First, I'm a cell in Dudley's body, and he certainly does not have magic. There's also the matter that cells don't survive long outside a body, and I'm not repeating the Hermionine escapade. Now if you excuse me, I better get the owl's head out of his arse.

Harry Potter

_(Ossy and Drix)_

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I thank you for sending me the letter. However, I must decline. I am rather busy running my chain of Chaos Theaters as well as getting revenge on my girlfriend. Of course, I kid you about that last part. Now if you excuse me, I must arrange the twins' battle against my girlfriend's "boyfriend", figuratively speaking. After all, I already spent two weeks on this idea of mine and I'm afraid I cannot wait seven more years.

Gideon Graves, formerly Harry Potter

_(Scott Pilgrim)_

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I would like to come, but I'm already preoccupied running a girls' dorm. I'm afraid I'll be focusing on getting into Tokyo U to achieve my dream, and there is no one else who can run the dorms if I go to your school. I'm sorry things didn't work out.

Sincerely,

Keitaro Harry Urashima

P.S. I'm sorry about the owl. Su tried to eat her.

P.S.S. Sorry about the letter. Had to get away from Naru and Motoko, and it might be a bit roughed up.

P.S.S.S. Sorry if the letter's late. Failed my exam and got distracted. For a few days. On an island.

_(Love Hina)_

McGonagall,

I seek to conquer the cuisines of the vast universe. Your school and your planet are useless to my conquest.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Harry James Caiser

P.S. My Manade girls thanks you for the poultry.

_(Space Chef Caiser)_

Dear McGonagall,

Your school would be useful. If I didn't already rule this land, that is. Of course, I have heard of the "famous" hero Dumbledore and that poor excuse of a dark lord. By the time you receive this letter, I will already be at your school to destroy/rule your meaningless "magical world". I still haven't decided on either one. In fact, I retrained your owl so that you would receive this letter once I've made my decision. Nothing personal, but I'll be doing so much..."good" by coming here.

The Overlord previously known as Harry Potter.

_(Overlord)_

Dear wizard people,

Why should I become a student at your school when I'm a student AND Dean at MY school? Hell, I just learned how to blow up planets with MAGIC, so unless you got something better, GUHAFAHAFAHAF!

Overlord Mao, previously Harry Potter

Dear wizard people,

Please disregard the last letter. I just learned Dumbledore and I are considered heroes, and I'm learning how to be one so that I can destroy my dad. So if you can get Dumbledore to sign this medical form, I promise that Dumbledore's organs will be don...don...will be handed over to someone who needs them. I also would like Dumbledore to plan his death so that his stomach and heart remains intact. Studies have shown that these organs are key components to a hero.

Overlord Mao

_(Disgaea)_


	59. Chapter 59

Dear Professor McGonagall,

Upon doing some research, I've decided I do not wish to attend Hogwarts. I have no desire to be forbidden to perform magic out of school for the next seven years, and find the idea of a magic user not being permitted to use magic obscene. For that matter, to many children of Death Eaters are attending the school, and I have no intention of letting my school years become a running battle against Death Nibblers.

I also have no desire to be stared at and put on a pedestal due to this Boy-Who-Lived baloney which was started by your very own Headmaster. I thought everyone knew that my mother Lily died taking the Dark Lord out, and frankly, the story about me surviving a Killing Curse is ridiculous. For these, and a number of various other reasons, I've decided to seek tutoring on my own where I can practice magic anytime I want.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter

(AN)

This letter was written by SlickRCBD


	60. Chapter 60

McGonagall-Sensei, or whom it may concern,

I am unable to attend your university, due to circumstances outside my control. It seems you were not notified of my demise, and enrollment in the Shinigami academy.

I am sure your academy is excellent, and have heard glowing recommendations from my parents about it.

Sincerely,

Harry J. Potter, Shinigami, Squad 2

(AN)

Letter written by Celebwen Telcontar.


	61. Chapter 61

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I must respectfully decline your invitation to become a student at Hogwart's. I was adopted by a gentleman named J.R. Ewing and I am living in the great State of Texas with him. I am getting a good education and I have friends that I do not want to leave behind and I also do not want to leave my adopted father or my adopted family. Please do not contact me again.

Sincerely,

Harold James Potter-Ewing

Dallas, Texas U.S.A.

(AN)

Written by Hellhammer


	62. Chapter 62

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I thank you for writing me to tell me about my enrollment into Hogwarts, but I'm sorry to say that I will not be attending Hogwarts this year or any year henceforth. First off, I no longer consider Harry James Potter my name and have no interest in taking it up again because the name drags up painful memories that I wish to forget, and I have more important and pressing matters to attend to that takes up all of my time than to be bothered with mortal matters like a magical boarding school for mortal children, learning useless wand waving magical spells. So please do not contact me again.

If you must know why I decline your invitation, the main reason why I decline is because I have officially not been among the living since I died at the hands of my mortal relatives six years ago. I know all about your war against Voldemort, who killed my birth parents when I was a baby, and have no wish to be a part of the society who abandoned me to the parasites who killed me, or help them in battle if my birth parents murderer somehow returns when they couldn't be bothered to help _ME_, in _my_ time of need or else I would _still_ be alive and with all of you today. Besides my superiors have informed me, that the prophecy involving me and Voldemort became null and void the moment I breathed my last breath six years ago, so if Voldemort does come back, you people are on your own.

You must wonder why I claim to be dead, since I'm writing to you, but right now I'm spending my afterlife apprenticing as a Soul Reaper under the watchful eyes of my adopted father, Grell Sutcliff, who had come to retrieve my newly dead soul and saw potential in me and got special permission to take me in and train me. Becoming a soul reaper allows me to spend time between the living and dead realms, which is where your owl found me on one of my jobs.

I apologize in advance for the missing owl that delivered the letter you sent, but my pet hellhound, Parsnip, caught the fowl and made a snack out of him after the letter was delivered, which is why I'm using another means to send my reply letter back to you. I _hope_ Angel didn't scare you _too_ much when she arrived. I _know_ her appearance can be a _little_ unsettling to humans when they _first_ see her.

Sincerely yours,

Hadrian Grell Sutcliff

Formerly known as Harry James Potter

Apprentice Soul Reaper

P.S. Please tell your headmaster that my father says that the old coots time in the realm of the living is almost up, and that if Dumbledore doesn't leave me alone, that my father will personally come after him, and anyone the old coot sends to try and capture me, with his chainsaw death scythe and make what little time he has left in the mortal world a lot shorter than its supposed to be, then personally drag him down to hell where he can suffer for all eternity. And that I will quite _happily_ join my father on the endeavor.

(AN)

This letter was written by Lady Luna Slag


	63. Chapter 63

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I regret to inform you that Mr. Potter is unable to attend your institute of learning. He has been made tranquil and his connection to the Fade has been severed. This means he is also no longer able to use magic. Naturally, there would be no use in him attending your school.

I also feel that I should inform you that Knight-Commander Greagoir has received approval for an exalted march against all of the apostates at your school. I would like to remind you that magic exists to serve man, not to rule over him, according to the Maker.

Sincerely,

Senior Enchanter Wynne.

(AN)

This letter was written by _Not just another Storm_. This is a crossover with Dragon Age.

As everyone has been asking for lists of crossovers (and no one seems to be able to find said list in the Hogwarts Rejection Letters thread on my forum) I have decided to start adding the crossover (if any) to the actual letter. This means I will NOT be updating the crossover list on my forum any longer, but you will find the crossover name in the letter.


	64. Chapter 64

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I'm time looping.

Now that we got that out of the way, I want to say, I'll probably go to Hogwarts. Right after I kill Albus and make you Headmaster. Or Mistress. Oh, I already forgave him for the crap he pulled in the first timeline, but he did things with lemon sherbets that makes dear old Tommy look like a saint. So very horrible.

Speaking of Tommy, I think I'll resurrect him as a girl again. She's quite wicked with her tongue, you know. Ought to warn you because he, er, she still has that crush on you, and no offense, but you're old enough to be my grandmother. At least that gives me reason to kill her later.

Don't bother returning this letter to the Dursleys. Tom fed them to her snakes and they're not feeling so well. The snakes, just to be clear.

Love and Kisses,

Harry Potter, The Boy-Who-Lived-Repeatedly

(AN)

This letter was written by Harosata with no crossover.


	65. Chapter 65

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I regret to inform you I will not be attending Hogwarts for I have been  
attending school here in the states for three years at Smoke Institute of  
Magical Alliance. I would consider transferring if it weren't for the fact  
that I be behind my fellow classmates, and you offer no classes which I do the  
best in: Techno Mage, Seal with elemental hand to hand combat and Cherokee  
Shamanism. If you are not familiar with them, then you should order,  
'Technology and Magic, the evolution of art of war since 1942' 'The Asian Art  
of Seals and Martial Arts' and 'Shamanism, Connectors of Mother Earth,' from  
the USA, Russia, Africa or China. I may come to Hogwarts when I graduate in  
seven years but until then, I will be staying in the states. Thanks for the  
offer.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter

******************************

Dear Professor McGonagall,

You're a bit late sending this letter two years late trying to find me and  
sorry your efforts to find me went to waste as I will not be attending school,  
as I am a member of the USA Magical Army design to fight against the Chinese  
Magical Army in occupy Japan. My skills as a techno Mage, Sniper and use of  
magical bullets that could curve or use ghost bullets, makes me to valuable

I suspected since Magic was exposed, you soon find several of your own  
students drafted by British Military.

Sincerely,

Captain Harry Potter of 212th Magical Army

(Year 2056)

*****************************

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I do not how you were able to get in contact me through time and a different  
dimension, but it makes little different. I have study magic since I was found  
by the Templars in here in Thaddeus Ferelden, and taken to the Circle of Magi,  
from there recruited by an old Order of the Grey Wardens, before they were  
mostly killed by vile creatures called the Darkspawn. I am currently on a  
march with Mages, Templars, Dwarves, Elves, and the soldiers of Ferelden  
against the Darkspawn lead by the Archdemon. I do promise to visit your school  
if I survive the battle and a friend name Morrigan, Magical Ritual keep me  
alive. I hope to see no hatred towards my girl friend Leliana, as she is  
none-magical

Sincerely,

Grey Warden Commander Harry Potter

*************************************

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I regret to inform you that Harry Potter, the hero of Ferelden is dead. He  
sacrifice himself to slay the Archdemon to save my Ferelden. You should be  
proud as his sacrifice allow for Mages in Ferelden to be free from the Chantry  
and not participating in a sex ritual prevent Morrigan from reviving an old  
god. If you know any love ones, give them my condolence.

Sincerely,

King Alistair Theirin

********************************

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I hear telling I will not be going to your school called Hogwarts as I have  
been volunteer for the Mages Army against the Chantry and it Mage Hunting  
Templar army. And even if I didn't volunteer, I have gone through the  
Harrowing and made Enchanter. That means I would be busy TEACHING children  
about Magic, the Fade, and Lyrium while doing a few odd Jobs and experiments  
before being made Senior Enchanter. I thank again for your offer and wish to  
visit your school with some my students, assuming any mage survive the war.  
Thanks for the offer.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I don't know who are, but obviously your are missing a few facts. First that  
my name is not Harry Potter, it is Harriet Potter. That's right, your leader  
of Light got it wrong as I am a girl, not a boy. It even says so on my Birth  
Certificate. Idiot. Second is that I a no longer a British citizen and have  
been attending school here is the Magical America and studding to be Wicca, a  
user of wandless magic that calls on the elements of Mother Earth for my  
spells. Needless to say, I will not be attending a school as I already taking  
a competent one who Headmaster can get the right gender and isn't three  
hundred years behind. Please don't contact me again unless the world is ending  
due to some pathetic Dark Lord or other.

Sign,

Apprentice Harriet Potter the supposed GIRL who lived

(AN)

This collection of letters was written by _raw666_. I am unsure of the universes.


	66. Chapter 66

Dear Professor McGonagall,

Hello, I am Dr. Ross, Harry's legal guardian and I regret to inform you that  
he will not be attending your school. You see, Harry is not only a Wizard, but  
an Alpha, people who can do things that go beyond what normal can conceive.  
Harry particularity Alpha power is enhancing magical power. He can literately  
turn a Stupefy spell into a wide area sleep shock wave. However, a side effect that it  
makes Harry avoid people as a fear of harming people, and unless you can insure  
me that he will attend only one on one classes, he will stay with me while being  
tutors by Mage found in New York. In the mean time, we hope Harry will be brought out of his shell by our own Nina Theroux and Cameron Hicks. I thank you for the offer and Harry does too.

Sincerely,

Dr. Ross

Dear Professor McGonagall

Hello, I am Dr. Ross, Harriet's legal guardian and I regret to inform you that  
she will not be attending your school. You see, Harriet is not only a Witch,  
but an Alpha, people who can do things that go beyond what normal can  
conceive. Harriet's particularity Alpha power is enhancing perception of energy and  
perdition elements. This ability allows her to learn spells by sight, and do things  
beyond magic. However, a major problem is that she has trust issues due to her  
abusive realities and took me years to get her to trust even me, and convince her to use her powers. Also, given the fact she has a calming feel to the other ALPHAS; I am  
afraid she will not be attending. But I promise to continue her education with my  
group. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Sincerely,

Dr. Ross

(AN)

These letters were written by raw666, in the ALPHAS universe.


	67. Chapter 67

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I am sorry to say, that I am unable to attend your school. There are many  
reasons why I can not attend this school.

One of the reasons why, is that my magic is too powerful\raw to use any foci,  
especially a wand. Out of all of the wands that I have tried, even some that  
was sent over from the place that you got years, all of them exploded from the  
magic that came from me. Even staves and rings are a no go for me.

That is why; I'll be attending a different school. And since I have been going  
to this school since I was 5 years old makes the difference too. The school  
that I have been attending teaches magic without any foci at all. And it is  
an old school, even older then the Egyptian Pyramids. The school's name is:

Twin Suns School

If you need anymore information, I'll be adding a school's letter about itself  
on the next piece of paper.

Sincerely,

Harrison James Potter, apprentice level

(AN)

This letter was written by jedielfsorcerer, I am unsure of the universe.


	68. Chapter 68

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I am unsure of how to phrase this letter, as I cannot suspend my disbelief  
about magic. I have been studying at the Clock Tower since the age of  
four and I am on fast track towards becoming the Red of the Association due to  
my work on Marble Phantasm. Instead of going to this Hogwarts place, I will be  
overseeing the Fifth War for the Holy Grail and hunting rouge True Ancestors  
with the Crimson Princess.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter

(AN)

Written in the Nasuverse - Fate/StayNight and Tsukihime by OnTheImportanceOfLungs.


	69. Chapter 69

Professor McGonagall,

I am unable to attend your magic school right now. I am in middle of a  
war, and I have just recently died. But I was sent back to life to help finish this  
war by some very powerful beings.

I have not gone by the name of Harry Potter for thousands of years.  
I have been given many names and the one I am currently going by  
is Gandalf the White.

Sincerely,

Storm Crow

(AN)

This LOTR letter was written by jedielfsorcerer.


	70. Chapter 70

Dear Madam or Sir,

It is with a heavy heart that I must decline your most gracious offer of a  
Hogwarts education.

Although I have heard many good tidings regarding Hogwarts, I have already  
agreed to attend the most prestigious academy of Scholomance, and I am already  
living/being tutored on the academy's grounds.

As you may know, being invited to attend Scholomance is considered both an  
honor and a privilege in our world, as only around two or three dozen  
prospective students per year are deemed strong enough to survive the seven  
year curriculum.

Scholomance has a well earned, long standing reputation of producing some of  
the most powerful wizards, witches and magi known to history, and I plan on  
living up to my potential – by making myself into someone that my parents  
would have been proud of.

As I write this letter, it is approximately one hour before midnight (roughly  
the time of my birth), and I will soon be undergoing the initiation  
rites/runic tattooing demanded of me by the school and its long set  
traditions. These alone would prevent me from being bound to another institute  
of learning.

Perhaps in a few years or so, I will be able to come visit the school that my  
parents so fondly attended, as a guest/visitor?

I would also like to formally request the return of a priceless family  
heirloom, a Cloak of Invisibility that is currently in the possession of the  
Hogwarts headmaster, Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, after  
it was loaned to him by my father, James Potter, prior to his death on October  
31st, 1981.

I also request that my Gringotts Trust Vault key be returned via owl post.

Yours faithfully,

Initiate Harry James Potter.

Lord of The Noble and Most Ancient House of Potter, Inheritor of Peverell,  
'Boy-Who-Lived'.

The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death.

(AN)

This letter is written in an original AU created by the author Midgarosormr.


	71. Chapter 71

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I was surprised when I received this letter considering that our world  
vanished into the darkness not long after the Heartless invaded. Suffice it to  
say I won't be joining your school now or anytime soon since it's going the  
take the Keyblade masters quite awhile to get the worlds back in order. Oh and  
if you meet a young man named Xyrrah Poxttre please do try and destroy him as  
he is my nobody and I won't be whole until he returns to me.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter

(A/N)

This letter was written by YamamotoRyu in the Castle of Hearts universe (at least I think that's what it is, I know the game but I can't remember the name and it wasn't posted. Please remember to do that in the future.)


	72. Chapter 72

Dear to whom it concerns,

I will have to decline the offer of going to this "school" of yours. I do not  
have magic, I have Faith.

Sincerely,

Harry James Potter

(A/N)

This letter written by jedielfsorcerer in a generic muggle universe.


	73. Chapter 74

Dear Professor McGonagall,

It is a great pain to reject this offer. I am afraid your owl has  
unsettled my Aunt Petunia by knocking over her dinner onto her "perfect" floor, thus failing to make my situation any better.

Therefore, I simply cannot attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry,  
instead I must attend the school in the Muggle world, and even worse, wash the  
floor with a rag tonight... my relatives insist on it.

My painfully written reply must end now. I will not send this by the owl you  
have sent- it already lost a dozen feathers while being chased around by  
my cousin, Dudley, and understandably fled this house many hours ago. I wish I could do the same.

Sincerely,

Harry James Potter from the cupboard under the stairs

(A/N)

Letter written by TheBFG. From now on I will not be accepting letters in the form of PMs or Reviews.

The formatting issue is much simpler to correct (and the letters easier to organize) when they are all in one place with a standard format.


	74. Chapter 75

Dear Professor Mcgogal (or whatever your name is),

I wish that you freaks would stop sending your endless swarms of bloody owls to my home seeking my nephew, Harry Potter, with your invitations to your freak school. The boy does not live with my family and never has. The boy has been dead all these years ever since you freaks left him abandoned in the winter weather on my families  
doorstep when my husband and I weren't even there to take him in out of the  
cold.

The night you left him on our doorstep, I was out shopping for groceries  
and collapsed in agony because of my appendicitis getting ready to burst, and  
had to be rushed to the nearest hospital where I spent a week in recovery  
after my surgery with Vernon and Dudley at my side at all times, while staying  
at a nearby hotel with Dudley.

By the time we finally returned home, it was to  
find the police swarming our house after our neighbors discovered the frozen  
dead body of Harry Potter on our doorstep still wrapped up in the blanket and  
basket you freaks left him in after noticing a nasty smell coming from our  
doorstep.

We only found out it was Harry because of the letter you freaks left  
behind with him that the police found with his body. Don't blame me for the  
boy's death.

You freaks left a small helpless little boy to freeze to death in  
the winter cold without even bothering to make sure there was even someone  
home to take him in, before you abandoned him to the elements, so I blame  
whichever one of you freaks had the bright idea to do so. Very neglectful and inconsiderate to a child's well being on your part I say.

So once again, I ask that you people stop writing to my family, because the person you are looking for no longer exists thanks to your negligence, especially since you freaks never bothered to contact us or check on the boy to see how he was doing all  
these years until it was time for him to go to school.

Sincerely yours,

Petunia Dursley

(A/N)

This letter written by Sakura Lisel.


	75. Chapter 76

Dear whom ever it concerns,

I will have to decline to attend this school of yours. I am too busy leading  
my squad for the Soul Society. After I had someone research your kind, I find  
your kind to be weak fools.

Sincerely,

Kenpachi, Captain of the 11th squad.

P.S. I have not gone by that name in centuries. Ever since I died that night  
on the doorsteps of some house in the England.

(A/N)

This letter was written by jedielfsorcerer in the Bleach universe.


	76. Chapter 77

Dear Surviving Staff of Hogwarts,

To who ever is reading this, I go by the name Golden Eye, one of the youngest  
and highest demanding mercenaries that still lives. I am writing to who ever remains alive to take credit for the bombing and destruction of your precious school, as well as the assassination of over half of your government in the Ministry and Wizemgot.

You see, I was hired by a group of Muggle-Born, Werewolves and Half humans  
that were discriminated and wrongfully prosecuted by some of your teachers and  
students, as well as the Pure Blood run government. I even took the job at  
half the price it should be since they didn't want me to kill anyone below the  
age or isn't part of the Pure Blood idiocy. On a side note, I must say, it was  
remarkably easy to plant Techno Mage Potion bomb in your school and your  
government, as well as get up close to personally shot the rest in the chest.

Being famous for being alive works very well. So my thanks for being the  
easiest and possibly most profitable highlight of my career, and the least costly  
take down a world power government _ever_! And for your sake, better hope we never  
meet or that you're poor Pure Blood in my scoop.

Sincerely,

Golden Eye Potter

(Bang, bang: And so end Dumbledore followed by Snape at the hands of the  
Mercenary Golden Eye Potter, who made a call to informed Remus and families of  
Muggle Born like the Grangeres the job was done)

(A/N)

Written by raw666 in the Goldeneye Universe.


	77. Chapter 78

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I am sorry, but I am to decline your offer as I have a job on a very specific  
type of security, subconscious security. I am talking about dreams, extraction  
and/or Inception. I have been trained to enter people's dreams, using a muggle  
device, to find their secrets and take them or even help them make their  
mental security measures so strong that even your magic can't penetrate.

So I am afraid, I must decline. Especially as your magic has a way to defy reality,  
and in my line of work, to get to the point of questioning what is real and not  
is vary hazardous to one's health. Especially since Magic can make my Totem  
defy the laws of physics and only way to truly escape a dream is to  
kill yourself. So thanks for the offer, but I'll decline

Sincerely,

Potter

PS. See you in your dreams.

(A/N)

Written as an Inception crossover by raw666.


	78. Chapter 79

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I regret to inform you that I can not attend Hogwarts due to the fact that I am  
currently attending the Conservatory of Sorcery in Atlantis. In addition to as my  
duties to my king as his side kick, and my duties with Young Justice, I am simply far to busy to attend your institution. My Instructors at the Conservatory were able to  
remove a piece of the Dark Lord that I was suppose to beat that was stuck in  
my head. Something I highly doubt your people are capable of.

Sincerely

Kaldur'ahm (aka Harry James Potter)

PS.

If your head master tries to remove me for some stupid blood protection reason  
like blood wards, my mother was not from this world. My Queen is actually my  
mother's older sister and is able to fulfill the blood wards or any blood based protection.

Dear Professor McGonagall,

I regret to inform you that I can not attend Hogwarts, for a few reasons. In  
the world that my magic transported me to, Hogwarts was destroyed by the Holy  
Britannian Empire in the 18th century as a response to the Washington  
Rebellion, for the simple reason that George Washington attended Hogwarts in his youth.

The second reason is that I am currently leading a Rebellion against my adopted father Charles vi Britannia, the Emperor of the Holy Britannia Empire, which takes up  
most of my time.

The final reason I can not abandon my lover, and adopted half  
sister Euphemia li Britannia who gave up her status as third princess of the  
Empire to be with me. If you can send aid to stop my adopted father it would be appreciated.

Sincerely,

Lelouch vi Britannia aka Zero (formely Harry James Potter)

(A/N)

These letters were written by deathknighttimas. The first letter was a Young Justice crossover, while the second was a Code Geass crossover.


	79. Chapter 80

Dear whom it concerns,

I am afraid that I am unable to attend this school of yours. Our next door  
neighbor, who is a wizard that moved in few years ago, tested me for  
magic because something came up. From these tests, it was proven that my Aunt  
Petunia is a squib from a long line of squibs, and that my cousin Dudley is  
also a squib, and my uncle Vernon, is a normal muggle.

But when I was tested, is showed that I did not have any magic period. And that is very confusing since all life has some degrees of magic to live. There are many theories on how I am alive, but the main theory is that I don't have any internal magic, but if  
there were any mages, like there were in the past, then I could have learned  
to channel external magic. Maybe something happened that night that my  
parents were murdered?

So, I am afraid that I am unable to go to this school of yours.

Sincerely,

Harry James Potter

(A/N)

This letter was written by jedielfsorcerer is the generic Harry Potter AU.


	80. Chapter 81

Dear stalker,

The authorities have been notified.

Harry Potter.

(A/N)

This ridiculously short letter was written by Twilight Dusk.


	81. Chapter 82

To whom it concerns,

I have taken the letter you sent me to the police. Your stalker tendency will  
come to an end. I don't have magic, I just have higher brain functions than normal  
people. And I have been training it since I was 6 years old.

Besides, I like my teacher.

Harry Potter

(A/N)

This letter (which bares a startling similarity to the previous one) was written by jedielfsorcerer. I am unsure of the universe, but there are many out there which use the same concept.


	82. Chapter 83

Professor McGonagall,

I am shocked and dismayed that you would mistreat any animal by sending said  
animal such an extreme distance. I am unable to attend Hogwarts now or ever,  
as I am currently training to become a Thundercat.

By The Code of Thundera

Duty, Honor, Justice, Loyalty and Truth

Harry James Potter, Thundercat Trainee

(A/N)

This letter written by Astra Leo in the Thunder Cat universe.


	83. Chapter 84

Dear Professors,

When the owl showed up, were shocked and sad that you people would treat fine  
animals to such inhumane treatment like this. Mail carriers! What type of  
people you are, is beyond our comprehension. I will have to decline this strange way of  
inviting young Harry to your school. Especially a school that believes in  
magic! There are no such things as magic! You people need to be checked into  
some mental hospital for help!

Young Harry does not have this so called magic. He has what some of us  
believe is called E.S.P.

Here is some information on the following papers.

Sincerely,

Head teacher of the Academy for the Gifted and Talented in Rome, Italy, Mace  
Windu

P.S.

You should read the books that the following papers talk about.

(AN)

This letter was written by jedielfsorcerer.

I am getting tired of people posting letters without telling me the universe in their posts (there's irony for you). I have no problem with the letters, but I need to know what universe they are from because my readers demand it.

So, as much as it pains me to say it, from now on I will simply delete letters that have no universe posted with them _even if I know what they are from_! So Please! Place the universe name at the bottom of your posts!


End file.
